IC Contact

[keep_nothing]

✉

CODE 🔋 3:27 AM

Cordelia Naismith Vorkosigan

UNSETTLED HERO
"LADY VORKOSIGAN"

ADDRESS
THE RESIDENCE

MESSAGE
"This is Cordelia,
leave me a message."

TEXT

CALL

VIDEO

VOICE | TEXT | VIDEO | ACTION | ETC.

Comments

[vorbarra]

I don't know if she's still unhappy with me-- we always turn things around in the end and... and reconnect, but no. It hasn't really happened before.

[keep_nothing]

Which is why you're too tense to even sit down.

[vorbarra]

[ In the tone of a confession, ] I feel as if I have no claim on her. Although she is nothing but consistently considerate of me.

[keep_nothing]

[ Bluntly but softly, ] You don't have a claim on her. You don't have a claim on Miles either, for that matter. What you do have is their love, which they've chosen to give you.

[vorbarra]

You don't need to come all over Betan on me-- you know what I mean. I do have a claim on Miles, in that I feel very... sure. God, I'd have to be blind, deaf and dumb to not feel sure of Miles when we've been living in each others' pockets for months.

But Kitty... I know she wavers about how long she will be with us, even if she somehow comes to Barrayar when we go. [ He swallows. ] I've never had to face that. I've never had anyone to face that.

[keep_nothing]

You're talking to a Betan, kiddo, you should have expected as much.

[ But she relents. A bit. Just taking a moment to look him over, watching how stiff he is while standing. She knows that she thankfully doesn't need to bludgeon Gregor over the head as she needs to with Miles or Aral with their emotions. Instead she tries to guide him to find his own answer. ] So do you think this is jealousy you're feeling, fear of losing her, or both?

[vorbarra]

[ Now he finally flops down onto the couch beside her, twisting his hands before he makes himself stop, clenching them. ]

There's nothing really to be jealous of, [ he admits. ] I'm... not sure. I know I get jealous about Miles, but I've never felt the same level of, of claim, I don't know what other word to use, on Kitty. If she were doing it casually without considering me, I would, but she wouldn't.

Fear of losing her-- [ He hesitates. ] Closer. Fear of... [ Slowly, ] Driving her off. More that.

[keep_nothing]

[ She lays a hand casually on his arm, not yet reaching for his hands while he's clenching them together. ]

There may be nothing to be jealous of, but then jealousy isn't exactly a rational emotion, is it. A person she had feelings for before she ever knew you shows up and has similar feelings. She was the first person you allowed yourself to have romantic feelings for as well as act upon them.

[vorbarra]

[ He looks down but doesn't pull away. ]

It's ridiculously unfair of me, but she's supposed to be safe. And I don't feel jealous-- yet-- but I guess I'm... scared that I will, and what that'll do to me.

[keep_nothing]

Have you talked to her about this at all?

[vorbarra]

No, it hasn't exactly come up. We've had too many other things happening.

[keep_nothing]

Things like this John Mandrake?

[vorbarra]

That among others. Her and Miles turning into other versions of themselves put a stall on things, too.

[keep_nothing]

Oh yes, that minor occurrence. It affected Kitty too?

[vorbarra]

Rather badly, actually. It's still troubling her.

[keep_nothing]

Probably compounding anything that came after it too, I imagine.

[vorbarra]

Yes... I'm sure you're right about that. We haven't been able to catch a break for months now.

[keep_nothing]

... What if you do an escape with her? A weekend getaway to just relax with her?

[vorbarra]

Like what I tried with Miles, but more successful?

I... did have plans to surprise her with a romantic evening. I think you're on the right track.

[keep_nothing]

Hopefully more successful than previous attempts, yes.

[vorbarra]

[ Gregor isn't the sort to take it without giving any back, so he asks a little slyly, ]

And more successful than you and Colonel Mustang? He seemed... rather dense.

[keep_nothing]

[ She laughs openly. ]

You'd have to speak more to Aral about that, but yes, he was incredibly dense for a while there.

[vorbarra]

[ Just to make her laugh more: ]

Which one, your husband or the Colonel?

[keep_nothing]

[ It works like a charm – she laughs again, much more heartily this time. ]

[vorbarra]

[ He smiles to watch her laugh, surprised how much better it makes him feel in a very straightforward way. ]

So what was the conclusion with that after all? Forgive me if I'd rather get the information from you.