IC Contact

[keep_nothing]

✉

CODE 🔋 3:27 AM

Cordelia Naismith Vorkosigan

UNSETTLED HERO
"LADY VORKOSIGAN"

ADDRESS
THE RESIDENCE

MESSAGE
"This is Cordelia,
leave me a message."

TEXT

CALL

VIDEO

VOICE | TEXT | VIDEO | ACTION | ETC.

Comments

[keep_nothing]

[ She gives a small double-take when she glances at him still standing. Then doesn't say anything in response, just giving him A Pointed Glance at the empty cushion beside her. ]

[vorbarra]

[ ... He rubs at his face. ]

I feel entirely too tense to sit.

[keep_nothing]

Because you're upset about the whole debacle is happening at all, or because of some other feelings you're trying to stuff into a corner?

[vorbarra]

... Both? Mostly I'm upset that I might have made Kitty unhappy with me.

[ Not untrue. ]

[keep_nothing]

Mostly. What else?

[vorbarra]

[ He sighs. ]

I don't want her dating someone I don't independently trust, [ he says begrudgingly. ] Which is not something we've agreed upon.

[keep_nothing]

Is it something you've actively argued about, or just not something you've discussed at all?

[vorbarra]

No, no, we haven't argued. It just hasn't come up yet and I haven't been rocking the boat about it. She's not exactly promiscuous.

[keep_nothing]

[ Gently teasing, ] At least not argued about this in particular, it sounds like.

[vorbarra]

Well. [ He lets out a rueful breath. ] We have disagreements, but we're really on the same side, so it's not severe.

[keep_nothing]

Except now she's unhappy with you. Has that happened before?

[vorbarra]

I don't know if she's still unhappy with me-- we always turn things around in the end and... and reconnect, but no. It hasn't really happened before.

[keep_nothing]

Which is why you're too tense to even sit down.

[vorbarra]

[ In the tone of a confession, ] I feel as if I have no claim on her. Although she is nothing but consistently considerate of me.

[keep_nothing]

[ Bluntly but softly, ] You don't have a claim on her. You don't have a claim on Miles either, for that matter. What you do have is their love, which they've chosen to give you.

[vorbarra]

You don't need to come all over Betan on me-- you know what I mean. I do have a claim on Miles, in that I feel very... sure. God, I'd have to be blind, deaf and dumb to not feel sure of Miles when we've been living in each others' pockets for months.

But Kitty... I know she wavers about how long she will be with us, even if she somehow comes to Barrayar when we go. [ He swallows. ] I've never had to face that. I've never had anyone to face that.

[keep_nothing]

You're talking to a Betan, kiddo, you should have expected as much.

[ But she relents. A bit. Just taking a moment to look him over, watching how stiff he is while standing. She knows that she thankfully doesn't need to bludgeon Gregor over the head as she needs to with Miles or Aral with their emotions. Instead she tries to guide him to find his own answer. ] So do you think this is jealousy you're feeling, fear of losing her, or both?

[vorbarra]

[ Now he finally flops down onto the couch beside her, twisting his hands before he makes himself stop, clenching them. ]

There's nothing really to be jealous of, [ he admits. ] I'm... not sure. I know I get jealous about Miles, but I've never felt the same level of, of claim, I don't know what other word to use, on Kitty. If she were doing it casually without considering me, I would, but she wouldn't.

Fear of losing her-- [ He hesitates. ] Closer. Fear of... [ Slowly, ] Driving her off. More that.

[keep_nothing]

[ She lays a hand casually on his arm, not yet reaching for his hands while he's clenching them together. ]

There may be nothing to be jealous of, but then jealousy isn't exactly a rational emotion, is it. A person she had feelings for before she ever knew you shows up and has similar feelings. She was the first person you allowed yourself to have romantic feelings for as well as act upon them.

[vorbarra]

[ He looks down but doesn't pull away. ]

It's ridiculously unfair of me, but she's supposed to be safe. And I don't feel jealous-- yet-- but I guess I'm... scared that I will, and what that'll do to me.

[keep_nothing]

Have you talked to her about this at all?

[vorbarra]

No, it hasn't exactly come up. We've had too many other things happening.

[keep_nothing]

Things like this John Mandrake?

[vorbarra]

That among others. Her and Miles turning into other versions of themselves put a stall on things, too.

[keep_nothing]

Oh yes, that minor occurrence. It affected Kitty too?