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Thank you for your faith in me, but I think I'm a little too close to this one to approach it properly. I've already mucked things up on accident.

It's Kitty and her friend from home. John Mandrake.

[ Her grin slackens a bit in surprise, her eyebrows rising in something without mischief for once. ]

You want me to play Baba for Kitty? [ It's not that she thinks it's scandalous for Kitty to potentially have other lovers (being Betan and all), but that she knows how Gregor can be possessive of those he cares deeply for. Not possessive in a jealous way, of course not, but being "a little too close" to separate impartial judgements from his fiercely protective emotions as he's accustomed to. ]

[ Actually... he's not very happy about this at all, especially with his opinion of Nathaniel having taken a plummet due to him lying. But Gregor hasn't quite come around to talking about his own feelings yet, and no one has thought to ask about them. ]

It's an outstanding issue that they refuse to resolve themselves, so it seems that someone should. What the outcome is is up to them.

... What did you muck up?

I learned that he had feelings for her that apparently many people were discovering, but she didn't know. I expressed that this put me in a difficult position with Kitty and asked him what he thought I should do since I was reluctant to lie to her, saying that I thought he should tell her himself. He interpreted that as an ultimatum, then declined to tell her, and lied to me saying that he had.

I have no idea why he thought I wouldn't immediately corroborate with Kitty just for the purposes of sorting out our own relationship boundaries in the wake of whatever decision they'd made.

Ah ... [ She nods towards the new couch they'd recently gotten in the main living area of the Residence, moving immediately to it. She doesn't even look to see if Gregor's following her. ]

I presume that means he was aware of your relationship with her at the time the mucking happened?

Yes, Miles thoroughly blew that one up, [ he says dryly, but doesn't quite mange to sit; he stands tensely nearby, sort of hovering. ]

Oh, and Kitty apparently knew all along. By the way. And has been lying to him about it, by omission, because she thinks it's a trivial crush and he needs to feel in control and make these choices himself or some nonsense.

Neither of them are very happy with me now.

[ She gives a small double-take when she glances at him still standing. Then doesn't say anything in response, just giving him A Pointed Glance at the empty cushion beside her. ]

[ ... He rubs at his face. ]

I feel entirely too tense to sit.

Because you're upset about the whole debacle is happening at all, or because of some other feelings you're trying to stuff into a corner?

... Both? Mostly I'm upset that I might have made Kitty unhappy with me.

[ Not untrue. ]

Mostly. What else?

[ He sighs. ]

I don't want her dating someone I don't independently trust, [ he says begrudgingly. ] Which is not something we've agreed upon.

Is it something you've actively argued about, or just not something you've discussed at all?

No, no, we haven't argued. It just hasn't come up yet and I haven't been rocking the boat about it. She's not exactly promiscuous.

[ Gently teasing, ] At least not argued about this in particular, it sounds like.

Well. [ He lets out a rueful breath. ] We have disagreements, but we're really on the same side, so it's not severe.

Except now she's unhappy with you. Has that happened before?

I don't know if she's still unhappy with me-- we always turn things around in the end and... and reconnect, but no. It hasn't really happened before.

Which is why you're too tense to even sit down.

[ In the tone of a confession, ] I feel as if I have no claim on her. Although she is nothing but consistently considerate of me.

[ Bluntly but softly, ] You don't have a claim on her. You don't have a claim on Miles either, for that matter. What you do have is their love, which they've chosen to give you.

You don't need to come all over Betan on me-- you know what I mean. I do have a claim on Miles, in that I feel very... sure. God, I'd have to be blind, deaf and dumb to not feel sure of Miles when we've been living in each others' pockets for months.

But Kitty... I know she wavers about how long she will be with us, even if she somehow comes to Barrayar when we go. [ He swallows. ] I've never had to face that. I've never had anyone to face that.

You're talking to a Betan, kiddo, you should have expected as much.

[ But she relents. A bit. Just taking a moment to look him over, watching how stiff he is while standing. She knows that she thankfully doesn't need to bludgeon Gregor over the head as she needs to with Miles or Aral with their emotions. Instead she tries to guide him to find his own answer. ] So do you think this is jealousy you're feeling, fear of losing her, or both?

[ Now he finally flops down onto the couch beside her, twisting his hands before he makes himself stop, clenching them. ]

There's nothing really to be jealous of, [ he admits. ] I'm... not sure. I know I get jealous about Miles, but I've never felt the same level of, of claim, I don't know what other word to use, on Kitty. If she were doing it casually without considering me, I would, but she wouldn't.

Fear of losing her-- [ He hesitates. ] Closer. Fear of... [ Slowly, ] Driving her off. More that.

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